Emotional guide of a woman

Instructions for the use of a woman (at least: this one).

Not that I have a vague idea of how to write them, but the game has started, impossible to escape.

They say that a son doesn’t come with a manual, I can only apologize to my parents, either way they didn’t tell me how to “use” them, so I guess we are ok with that. But what if we could introduce ourselves to a potential partner with our own emotional guide? Let’s pretend we can, in that case I would probably start by saying: “My dear, I love you, I like everything about you, including your shortcomings, especially them! ‘cause loving them makes you mine alone. I really hope you can feel the same way about me, so please remember, hereafter, that to you my shortcomings, my weaknesses, are funny and lovely details of my complex personality, that might drive you crazy, but you wouldn’t love me this way without them. So remember: you LOVE my shortcomings!”

Having said that, let’s sketch a short Decalogue:

1. I don’t believe in horoscopes (even if I like to hear that everything is going to be fine), but maybe you do, so I suggest you investigate the characteristics of the sign of Cancer, the third decade, rising Taurus.

2. Keep on hand a map outlining the areas of sarcasm, irony, cynicism and tartness. I know it’s a rough road, I understand that, but it will keep you from getting lost.

3. I cook well, but only when I do it with love. Be aware.

4. I have the perfect age, not too young, not even too old, but it doesn't last forever, so take advantage of it.

5. I hardly ask for help, rarely cry, but it doesn’t mean I’m a tough girl.

6. I can’t ski and can’t drive a motorbike, to me balance is something within. Between two people it’s easy to break, but better once rebuilt.

7. I will never stop saying how great New York is.

8. I’m a woman, so you take care of the car.

9. Ignore me when I write. Ignore me when I read. Ignore me when I’m tired. Satisfy me when I’m hungry. (Ok, I’ll do the same for you)

10. I’m touchy, but I do not harbor resentment. So you can tease me and then forgive yourself.

Good luck!